Shared from my Google ReaderI’m back in the saddle with episode 5 of TGTMB - so look out.
Check out the full text of the episode - along with links where appropriate - below the cut.
See ya ’round.
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Filed under: At the Table, On My Radar, podcast episode
Let’s say, for what it’s worth, that I’m going to figure out what I want to do with this TGTMB project and choose to keep going with it. Let’s assume I am going to change the name, but to keep a sense of continuity, I want to keep the acronym “TGTMB”. Well, there are lots of possible titles that can use TGTMB as an acronym. Here are some of the new ones I’m thinking of:
At about this point in writing the list off the top of my head it hit me – I don’t need to settle for just one of these titles, or any other single that might come up later! I can just say the show/blog is called “TGTMB” and then in the opening of each episode, I’ll say, “Hi, welcome to TGTMB, The Guy That Moves Bowels!” or “Hi, welcome to TGTMB, There Goes the Mighty Binky!” etc. so that each time I say yet another stupid title that fits the acronym.
So yeah, that’s what I’m going to do, and since this news is just going to be a post and I won’t be turning it into audio you folks who read the blog have a heads-up over the other folks who just listen to the podcast – you get to know what’s coming.
Any thoughts? What does TGTMB mean to YOU, dear reader?
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Filed under: Half-Baked Musings, Meta
Last week, I did a fairly rash thing. I posted that I was putting TGTMB on ice, stopping the podcast, and focusing on trying to have fun just playing again. I also shut off comments for this site, removed myself from most of the discussion forums I was recently frequenting, and even quietly removed myself from membership in the RPG Podcasters’ Yahoo group.
I still feel like I’m facing a very valid problem in terms of waking up and discovering that over the past year I have wasted far too much energy and emotion on rpg analysis/theory/philosophy/debate and far too little time just enjoying my hobby through fun and interesting play.
It’s a valid problem that demands some changes, yes. But geez, I over-reacted.
Yesterday, a good friend of mine - a man whose wisdom and perspective I trust - very rightly took me to task for abandoning the people who are invested in taking the TGTMB journey with me while giving them no real explanation, warning, or opportunity to ask questions.
I have to admit, I had not really thought much about that. I mean, I made a pretty big deal out of inviting people who are interested to “take this journey with me”, even putting that invitation in my podcast’s intro bit. But I downplayed the idea that anyone really had taken me up on that. I let emotion get the best of me. See, what I’ve been seeing is subscription numbers in the high 70s and a “reach” (Feedburner’s estimate of who is actually listening) in the low 20s. On top of that, I was getting about 25 spam comments on the site for every one legitimate comment, and grew really tired of managing all that. Add to that the fact that I’d already begun to get back into the habit of bloating the hell out of my essays, trying to make them perfect and content-rich to the point where it was getting cumbersome to produce the show. But what really broke it for me was that I recently let myself get into a couple of online debates via various forums and had been met with a whole lot of resistance and outright anger, and very little support. Basically this led me to the conclusion that what I had to say was either so outlandish, or my ability to express it was so inept - or both - that I was just causing trouble and wasting energy. In my head, I know that the Internet is a horrible place to try to conduct informed and reasonable discussion. In my head, I know that anyone who tries to articulate and share non-traditional “hippie” ideas about roleplaying is going to be met with misunderstanding and vehemence. I get that, but it was still a lot to handle. And whether it is true or not, I also felt like I was not getting much support from the people whom I believed would be relatively supportive. And I’m the type of guy who thinks, well, if my friends are not bothering to support what I’m trying to say, or even gently help me clarify myself, then I must be WAY off. I need to shut up.
Juxtapose all that with the fact that I’ve realized that I’m a guy whose passion is to be an actor/director who has suddenly awakened to find I’m pretty much always being a critic. Even in play, I was thinking not in terms of fun or enjoyment or immersion, but “how is this going to sound to the listeners”, “can I live up to the standards I set?” and “what is wrong with this session that I can skewer and analyze?” Yuck. I hate that, but I became that.
I wonder, have any of the theory discussions about stance ever coined a type of stance called “critic stance”? Because that’ what I’ve been doing.
I don’t want to do that anymore.
However, as I said at the beginning, I over-reacted. Do I want to re-focus on having fun, socializing, enjoying actual play, and lightening the hell up? Yes absolutely I do. And that remains my #1 priority at this point and I won’t back down from that goal. However, does that mean that I should just dump the podcast, dump the people who have become invested in this thing, who take the time to listen and give feedback? No. And I apologize for doing that.
Now, I’m not sure how this is going to play out. I don’t know when I’ll podcast again, and when I do, I don’t know if “The Game That May Be” is the right title anymore because I no longer want to focus on the may be and the could be, I want to focus on play. Play Now. What’s happening in my play, not what might happen if I try this or that. And I’m not sure how effective it is for me to try to lone-wolf this thing. I feel like I’m talking AT people instead of with people. Maybe I need some discussion and conversation. So I need to think about this, and I don’t know for sure what the result will be. But I’ve turned comments back on, I’ll put this post out as audio on the feed for those folks who listen but don’t read, and I’ll invite input. I’ll admit it. I need some validation and direction here. I’m in a pretty shaky area right now. But I can at least commit to not going and hiding under a rock, thanks to a well-timed and heartfelt admonishment from my wise friend Mr. Perez.
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Filed under: Meta, podcast episode
I’ve been thinking and wrestling a lot lately with something. Basically, roleplaying has stopped being fun for me.
I think I’ve figured out why - at least, mostly why. It’s because I’ve become so focused on analyzing what “may be” in my play that I’ve completely divorced myself from living in the “now” and just enjoying what IS.
This all culminated in a recent disaster that I perpetrated over on the forums at The Game Master Show, where my attempt to add some of my perspectives into the mix of their discussion of the Dread game they just played turned into yet another situation in which what I conveyed to people was apparently vastly different from what I was trying to say. I don’t want to be that guy any more.
And my friend Mario, in that TGMS forum thread, made a really good point. Theory is fine, but what we need to do is play.
I am therefore putting TGTMB, both the podcast and the blog, on indefinite hiatus. I really appreciate the support and the feedback I’ve gotten, and those of you who have gotten something out of riding along, I hope we can keep in touch.
In the mean time, I encourage you to listen to the other shows that are linked here, and keep playing, keep enjoying your play, and keep thinking about what works for you and what doesn’t, but never let that overwhelm the act of actually enjoying your roleplaying and enjoying the people who are at the table with you.
Hopefully I’ll see some of you at GenCon.
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Filed under: At the Table, Meta
Noted scientist Edward Lorenz died at age 90 on Wednesday, April 16th. Lorenz was one of the pioneers of chaos theory and the guy who coined the term “the butterfly effect.”
Personally, I’m thinking this matters to roleplayers at least as much as the recent death of Gary Gygax, and here’s why: if there were no butterfly effect, no one could have made the claim that there would be no roleplaying hobby today if not for Gary Gygax.
So, when you get together and play your favorite rpg this week, roll some dice in memory of Edward Lorenz.
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Filed under: Half-Baked Musings, On My Radar
Here’s the gist of the news that highlights this short mini-ep:
I am proud to announce that we’ve scheduled four Vegas After Midnight preview scenario events at GenCon Indy 2008! Event registration starts at 1 PM Pacific on Sunday, April 20th. Sign up if you’re of a mind.
Hope to see you in Indy.
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Filed under: Meta, Vegas After Midnight
I am so busy with client work this week (admittedly, not a bad thing for a freelancer) that there’s no way I can finish getting TGTMB episode 5 ready this week. I’ll work on it next week and release it when it’s done. Thanks for your patience. I’ll be focusing on immersion, stance, “metagaming”, and related stuff for ep 5.
Semi-tangent: I think that bi-weekly is a much more realistic release schedule goal for the show anyway. I’m really juggling way too much stuff to be able to put out a show weekly, even if it is 15-20 minutes long.
Okay, but I DO want to toss a couple of tidbits at you this week. I listened to three podcast episodes over the past few days that were really potent, in my opinion. They are:
Virtual Play ep. 27: Player Stance
Why: because Mel’s talking about stance, which is what I’m going to be talking about. And he gives play examples.
Stabbing Contest ep. 12: Convo with Ben Lehman II
Why: the whole thing is good in an organic conversation kind of way. But the “why” is the last ten minutes, where Ogre and Ben talk about roleplaying and real life, morality, philosophy, culture, all that deep stuff. Very insightful.
Theory from the Closet ep. 33: Theory Refresher
Why: because Clyde gives a great and fairly succinct overview of all the theory topics he covered in his earlier shows, and explains why they matter.
If you haven’t listened to those, I highly recommend them. TGTMB episode 5 will reference several of the things shared in those shows. Plus, they’re just good shows.
Last thing - I actually did record a few minutes of audio on my iRiver a couple days ago while I was running errands. I whined about how I feel like I’ve lost my rpg mojo - something is definitely short-circuited in my brain, because all attempts to play any games lately - most notably the Dresden Files session I was in a few days ago - have been really falling short. I’m in total deer-in-the-headlights mode. My brain freezes up anytime I’m trying to figure out what I want my characters to do or say. Anyway, the recorded whine-fest is not useful for public release, so I’ve canned it. But I think I will want to talk about my loss of mojo - but instead of doing it myself, talking at you, I think I’ll try to get a guest host or someone I can chat about it with. Some things are better done in conversation.
So, more on that front down the road.
Until next time, go play!
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Filed under: Meta, On My Radar
I’m back with a new show covering what’s been going on in my various gaming opportunities (Witch Hunters, The Dresden Files RPG, & Star Wars Episode LV) along with an essay on my need to be informed - and my realization that maybe I’m taking that need a bit too far.
Show notes are on the far side of the “Read More.” Enjoy!
P.S. : Happy April Fool’s Day, and Happy Small Favor day!
8 Comments »
Filed under: At the Table, Bleeding for Dresden, podcast episode
I’ve finally gotten around to the task of re-working the basic character concept I’ve developed for my main The Dresden Files RPG player character, Theo Mendaharin. This is the character I’ve made for the play session I’m going to be in with the crew of The Game Master Show, but I’ve re-tooled some things from the original concept. The biggest change is that I’ve decided to take a suggestion from the folks on the DFRPG Bleeders playtest group and try out a lower skill point pool and a lower skill cap. So, Theo’s skills will be a little less potent than many of the starting characters have been in other playtests so far. The default has been 35 skill points with a cap of Superb, I’m going for either 30 points or 25 points (probably 25) with a cap of Great. If you don’t know what any of that means, look over SotC or listen to Rob and Fred partially explain it on the latest episode of Rob Bohl’s excellent podcast The Independent Insurgency.
The story-descriptors in the phases are currently very sketchy, because I want to weave this guy into the group before I go too much further with the descriptors. So, some aspects may change, and the backstory will expand a bit. But overall, this will give you an idea of the direction I want to take the character.
Without further ado, here is …
Theo MendaharinHigh Concept: Disenchanted Wizard
Personal Struggle: The Call of Duty, the Lure of the Road
Background: Better Dead than Red (Grew up in Indy, mentor and family killed by Red Court, had to kill some of his own family after they were turned)
Rising Conflict: I’ve Seen Things You People Wouldn’t Believe (wandering soul, worldwalker, misfit)
First Story: I Know She’s Out There Somewhere (lost love who may now be a Red Vampire)
Guest 1: I Touch the Fire and It Freezes Me (Theo has lost so much and become so jaded that he just wants to walk away and wander the Nevernever, the only place he feels any emotional resonance)
Guest 2: The Heavy Grey Cloak (Vampire War and shortage of wardens forces White Council to appoint Theo as Warden of Indianapolis, so he must stay and protect his city.)
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Filed under: Bleeding for Dresden
I’ve got a pretty good portion of TGTMB Episode 4 written, but I also have strep throat and my voice sounds terrible, so I’m going to hold off on recording until I sound better. In the mean time, I’m pleased to share this great bit of news with you:
The Skinny: At Gen Con 07, I was part of Star Wars Episode LV, a Primetime Adventures game run by Judd Karlman (The Sons of Kryos) and starring Paul Tevis (Have Games, Will Travel), Rich Rogers (CanonPuncture), Daniel Perez (The Gamer Traveler | The Digital Front), and me.
This description from Daniel Perez’ blog summarizes the setup perfectly:
Set 1,000 years after Return of the Jedi, the Republic has now become as corrupt as the old Empire, and the dynasty of Skywalker rules with an iron fist from Coruscant, confident in the security the six orbiting Death Stars provide it. But there is hope, two ancient droids carrying information that can topple the corrupt republic.
I play a wookiee who has taken the name of Kashyyyk in honor of his homeworld, long ago destroyed by the forces of the Republic who then rounded up all surviving wookiees and enslaved them on the planet Hoth. My character is a prince by blood, and is considered by some to be a sort of wookiee messiah, who will lead his people out of slavery. As we start play, however, Kashyyyk is bound in servitude to the matriarch of the Calrissian clan, who have become the galaxy’s most powerful merchant family. Kashyyyk is the personal bodyguard of the matriarch, and also often serves as bodyguard to the matriarch’s eldest son, Han Calrissian (played by Paul Tevis). Han is secretly involved in a plot to foster rebellion against the corrupt republic and restore justice to the galaxy. He has taken Kashyyyk into his confidence, pledging to help free the wookiees of Hoth, and treats Kashyyyk as a friend and an equal when they are not in public.
Instead of me trying to grunt and howl throughout the game, we decided that Kashyyyk can communicate effectively through a translator device he keeps on his person. So you’re spared my attempt at wookiee-speak.
This game was an absolute blast, and represents what I consider to be my most enjoyable experience at the table in years. On the other hand, it is my first real foray into the concept of scene framing, and you will find that to be a big issue with me in this session. It really takes a mental shift - at least it has for me - to switch from a traditional player mindset into a scene-framing mindset. But it is in my opinion a switch well worth pursuing.
I will be digging into my thoughts on scene framing in an upcoming episode of TGTMB, and I’ll also be focusing on doing whatever it takes to exercise my scene framing muscles in the coming months so that I’ll be ready to give the group my very best wookiee when we re-convene for the continuation of this story at GenCon 08.
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Filed under: At the Table, Voices from Elsewhere
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